My First Mailbag

Hello folks. Welcome to my first mailbag. Inspired by the Bill Simmons Page 2 archives, which I have perused greatly during my desk warming time. I have embarked on a mailbag of my own. I can only aspire to be as biased, insufferable, and self-indulgent as Bill was in the early 2000s. I reached out to many of you dear readers to submit questions, so if you submitted one, thank you. If you would like to submit one, post a question down below (we’ll do the Google Forms thing again to circumnavigate technical difficulties) and I’ll address it in my next mailbag. If you submitted a question and you don’t see it here, I have omitted it because it was too similar to another question.

I’ve had a mini-vacation this week. Tuesday was the Autumnal Equinox (a public holiday here), so I didn’t have school that day. I decided to take a day of summer leave on Monday, so I had a four day weekend. And then, Wednesday and Thursday my school had athletics days, so there was no class. On Wednesday I went to watch my school’s basketball team compete in the first tournament of the season, but unfortunately both the boys’ and girls’ teams lost, so they did not get to play again on Thursday. So instead I’m back in City Hall, typing this up.

I’ve been helping out with the boys’ team after school, and some of them were really upset about this loss. Apparently in Japanese middle schools, third graders (here in Japan, students are referred to by what grade they are at their particular school, not overall – kind of like freshmen/sophomores – so when I say third graders I’m really talking about ninth graders) don’t compete in sports because they’re too busy studying for high school entrance exams, upon which a massive amount of emphasis is placed. Last year’s team at my school was great, good enough to earn the #1 seed in this tournament and a first-round bye. However, that performance was carried by the now-retired older kids. So the first and second graders have big shoes to fill. And with their families, classmates, and last year’s teammates watching, these kids were under a lot of pressure. It didn’t help that the team they were facing was looser, having played and won earlier that morning. Unfortunately my students quickly fell into a double-digit deceit that they never climbed out of. There were some bright moments – some good hustle plays, tough and-ones – but also a lot of turnovers and rebounds conceded. I too was once a kid upset when his team lost, especially if I felt I played poorly, so I get it, and I’m sure the kids will bounce back from that tough loss.

I’ve been kicking this post around for a few weeks, so the time of events mentioned might seem contradictory, but without further ado, let’s get into it!

Q: What are some key cultural differences between public schools in Japan vs USA?

Q: What is your favorite Japanese beer?

– Leo C., Oakland, C.A/Washington, D.C.

There are a ton of differences between American and Japanese public schools. For one thing, all the kids wear uniforms. Kids are involved in the serving of school lunch, and all pitch in to help clean the school after classes every day. In fact, I took a break from writing this to go sweep up near the stairs, as I do every day from 3:30-3:40. Staff help clean as well, I’ve seen the vice principal of the school, an old man, on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor of the staff room. For a minute before every class, all the kids close their eyes and sit in complete silence, which helps to quiet them down before instruction starts. Clubs are an integral part of school life, and most students stay after classes to attend clubs, which can range from sports to music to art and more. A lot of kids also attend juku, which is private cram school (sounds awful) for all basic subjects. But some fundamental truths about kids endure. Kids chatter with their friends loudly in between classes. They roughhouse in the hallways. During class, most are shy and reserved. A few are clearly interested in learning English, a few are obviously disinterested in school altogether. I think America could benefit from having their public school students clean the school. While I prefer the idea of a cafeteria where kids can socialize over eating lunch in home room, America also has a lot to learn from Japanese school lunches. On the question of uniforms I am torn. While I appreciate the egalitarian aspect, in America the First Amendment is extended to dress in public schools (for the most part), something I value deeply, although in high school I almost exclusively wore hoodies and sweatpants.

My favorite Japanese beer is whichever one they have. At most restaurants/bars/izakayas, they will have just one beer on tap. It’s usually Asahi SuperDry. I probably couldn’t tell the difference between Asahi and Sapporo. Some beers, like Ebisu or Suntory, will be more on the malty end, which I’m not a fan of. But whatever it is, it’ll be ice-cold with a foamy head. This past weekend I did by coincidence have craft beer two days in a row. Saturday I found a cafe with craft beer across the street from the movie theater I went too, and Sunday I went to a craft brewery on a local island. While it was awesome to have craft beer on tap (I had a lemongrass saison and an IPA made with local orange), it was also about twice as expensive as a normal beer – 1300 yen for a pint (about $10), as opposed to the more standard 600-900 ($4-$6). When I was at the craft beer cafe, I ended up chatting with the owner for something like two hours, and I tried to explain how absurd the idea of only having one beer on tap would be in Portland, let alone in the rest of America, where even the humblest of dive bars will usually have at least three (in my limited experience). And when I was at the brewery, I leafed through some Japanese beer magazines and found mentions of Oregon breweries like Gigantic and Rogue, and even an entire article about HUB.

Scenes from Gogoshima’s craft brewery

Q: What’s one American food you miss that is just not the same in Japan? Cheeseburger? Pie?

– Sarah N., Boston, M.A./Washington, D.C.

These are very stereotypically American foods. Some Japanese people think we eat these for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. To be honest what I miss most about American food is the variety. I’ve been trying to note every non-Japanese restaurant I’ve seen in Matsuyama, and thus far I have observed: Chinese (although most Chinese restaurants are Japanese-influenced Chinese with dishes like mapo tofu, gyoza, and fried rice, good luck trying to find authentic Sichuan fare outside of a major city like Tokyo or Osaka), Korean, Vietnamese, Turkish, Italian, French, and Spanish. Recently at the Matsuyama Curry Festival I did have the good fortune to enjoy a Thai-style green curry with Jamaican jerk chicken. I haven’t had a real hankering for a burger yet, although apparently there’s a burger place in my town run by a Hawaiian guy (Ehime is sister prefecture/states with Hawaii) that’s supposed to be good. There’s also an international grocery store in Emiful, the biggest mall in Shikoku (I’m still not sure whether or not to say something is “in an island” or “on an island”… grammar police weigh in down in the comments) where I’ve bought Colombian coffee, Dijon mustard, and parmasean. One thing I really miss is Mama Lil’s peppers.

My Jamaican/Thai curry that was sublime

Q: What is your housing like?!

Q: I wanna hear about how stricter food standards show up in grocery stores/restaurants

– Nora B., Takoma Park, M.D.

I am living in the apartment formerly occupied by my predecessor. It is basically a studio on the ground floor of a small complex. There is one main room, where I have my futon, table, and TV. There’s a genkan (all Japanese domiciles will have one of these small rooms right next to the door for you to leave your shoes in), a little sunroom with a big window, a small kitchen with a fridge, sink, and two-burner electric stove (very minimal counter space), and a bathroom with a seperate room for the toilet (very smart), my own washing machine (dryers are very rare in Japan, everyone hangs their clothes to dry), and a shower/bathtub. It’s basic, but is in a great location since I can walk to the beach in 10 minutes, and my train station and local convenience store in 5. My rent is something like $400 per month including utilities. While some of my colleagues have an entire house to themselves, they also live in more rural areas. Me personally, I’d rather have the small apartment in the good location.

Compared to Japan, American grocery stores have better produce and cheese, in addition to a wider selection of junk food. Japan’s food regulations – some of the strictest in the world – include strict guidelines for hygiene, restrictions on misleading advertising, and bans on certain additives. European products have an easier time importing to Japan compared to American ones. It’s also more difficult to claim potential benefits for your product like vitamins. About 20 years ago, Japan really freaked out about mad cow disease, which led to really stringent regulations around the importation of meat. I’m not an expert, and my lack of language skills prevent me from grasping the nuances of this when I’m at the grocery store.

Q: Japan is in demographic collapse. No one there is having babies and have not for 50 years. They sell more adult diapers than baby diapers in Japan. That said, what do you notice about aging society that is different than places you have lived aka PDX and DC?

– Matt C., Oakland, C.A.

Japan’s demographic collapse can arguably be attributed to the “Lost Decades” basically ongoing since the asset bubble price collapsed in 1990 (not something I understand as I’m not an economist, but basically Japan’s economy was humming until 1990 and it has stunk ever since). With stagnation, low wages, and a labor shortage, young people are just not having kids. There are a lot of old people, and it is difficult for the working-age population to support them. Japan has attempted to partially offset their labor shortage by increasing immigration, this has coincided with the exponential rise of Sanseito, a new right-wing political party that is anti-vaccine and anti-immigrant (sound familiar)? The once dominant Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) has been challenged so thoroughly at the polls that the Prime Minister recently stepped down, taking responsibility for his party’s recent electoral struggles (the new Prime Minsiter is a far-right woman). While this is no doubt part of a global trend, Japan’s economic woes certainly beget a feeling of disillusionment amongst younger people, which can manifest in support for Sanseito (polling from this summer shows Sanseito as the second-most popular party for under-30s, although I saw a pro-Sanseito rally at Matsuyama City Station and it was all old dudes).

Part of this demographic collapse manifests in a way that affects my work. While my school is quite large (600+ students in three grades), other schools, especially in rural areas, are shrinking. Part of this is because the people who are having kids are moving to the big city, so the countryside is essentially being emptied out (to the point where foreigners can purchase an akiya, or abandoned countryside house, for very cheap). My coworker works at a few rural schools, some of which are still going with 25 or less students. Hey, at least these small schools have a great student:teacher ratio. But it is an eerie feeling to be at a school that clearly used to house way more students but has now been reduced to a small handful, or to attend an event at a abandoned school.

I haven’t answered your question. I will say that I see a lot of old people out and about, including ones who appear to be so old that I am surprised to see them out. I’ve seen them on the train, working in their gardens, or pushing their walkers down the street. Not that I didn’t see plenty of old people in my neighborhood in D.C. But the old people here seem to be more competent. Not being a car-dependent society certainly helps.

Q: How’s the cross-musical exchange been?

– Mete B., Portland, O.R./Chicago, I.L.

Cross-musical exchange has not exactly flourished. While I invited recommendations from my students, most of them are not very forthcoming. I can tell you that a lot of the kids are listening to a rock band called Mrs. GREEN APPLE as well as a hip-hop duo called Creepy Nuts, the latter of which is set to perform at this upcoming Coachella. When the kids ask me what Japanese music I like, they are baffled at my selections of 70s jazz fusion (Masayoshi Takanaka, Jiro Inagaki, CASIOPEA, etc) as well as the 90s psychedelic-rock band Fishmans (check out their live album 98.12.28 Otokotachi no Wakare). At my school I have a sign advertising me and some of my interests, where I list the Grateful Dead as my favorite band and Beastie Boys’ Paul’s Boutique as my favorite album. I’ve also told a class and a coworker that Beck was my favorite artist. Upon learning that one of my teachers studied abroad in Memphis, I told him he had to listen to Three 6 Mafia and Project Pat (even though he said he’s more of an Elvis guy). Another time while getting a ride home from a festival from a coworker, I asked him what Western music he liked and he said he enjoyed the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Oasis, so naturally I shared my Rap Rock That Doesn’t Suck Playlist (featuring the previously-mentioned Beck and RHCP as well as Gorillaz and N.E.R.D.) and we had a sing-along in the car to ‘Champagne Supernova.’ Hoping for more exchange in the future.

This past weekend, I was checking out a thrift store in Matsuyama and got to talking with the owner. Many of the pieces in his small but highly curated store are from America, and he expressed a fondness for not only Portland, but Eugene, Oregon as well. I told him I enjoyed the music that was playing in his shop, and he introduced me to Hosono House, the first studio album by Haruomi Hosono. Hosono, who would later go on to found the highly influential electronic group Yellow Magic Orchestra (along with Ryuichi Sakamoto) recorded the album at his small home in Saitama’s America-mura, where Hosono was inspired by The Band’s Music From Big Pink and James Taylor’s One Man Dog. My new friend Hodoka also invited me and my friend Tom to his DJ set that night. We went to check it out, at a cool venue where incensure burned and it felt like you were dancing inside a pair of wooden bookshelf speakers. We ended up bailing around 1:30, several hours before Hodoka performed (the headliner was some Argentinian guy) . Nevertheless, a cool instance of musical exchange.

Q: What’s been the most unexpected experience/thing you didn’t expect before going? What’s surprised you about Japan?

– Ethan K., Portland, O.R./Washington, D.C.

Having already been to Japan a few times, not a whole lot has surprised me this time around. One thing that’s been a pleasant surprise is how cheap most things are, thanks to the tanking of the yen. The last time I was in Japan (Summer 2019), it was about 110 yen to the dollar, and now it’s around 140. This makes things like going out to eat relatively cheap, as my meals rarely exceed 2000 yen ($13).

Q: What do the school children eat for lunch?

– Emma S., Munster, I.N./Washington, D.C.

One of the best parts about this job is that I get to eat school lunch (or kyushoku)! Instead of a cafeteria, students eat in their homerooms and staff eats in the staffroom. Students are responsible for serving their classmates, and in the staffroom I help dish out the food when I don’t have a class right before lunch. The kids put on smocks, hairnets, and masks, and I just put on a mask. The school lunches are Michelle Obama’s wet dream, as Japanese school lunch is famed for its variety, freshness, and nutrition. While lunch is different every day, usually there’s a soup, some sort of starch/protein, a vegetable, a big bowl of rice, and milk. The milk I put in the fridge, but everything else I scarf. Occasionally it’s been a small loaf of bread instead of rice. School lunch is also very affordable, as each meal is just a few bucks. At some point, I’ll do a school lunch blog, maybe a ranking. Most of the times it is delicious, although a few dishes have been slightly odd (like spinach with tuna, which tasted like a struggle meal your parents would make when they’re mad at you). A whole school lunch blog is coming soon…

Q: How rural is the area you’re in and what questions do they generally have about Americans?

– Jackson N., Houston, T.X./Washington, D.C.

I think my location is pretty ideal. I’m in a small town of about 30k people (a number that is misleading, as Iyo City technically includes some smaller towns in the periphery). But in twenty minutes, I can hop on the train and be in Matsuyama, the biggest city on Shikoku (here we go again with the in/on Shikoku thing) at 500k. I’m a five minute walk from my local train station and convenience store, and an eight minute walk to the beach. A bit further away (10-15 minute walk) is a major road with a variety of shops and restaurants.

I have yet to really field questions about Americans specifically. I’ve given an introductory presentation to most of my classes that includes information about me, Portland, my family, and my interests/hobbies. The most common questions following this presentation from the students are 1) how tall are you (183 cm, I think) and 2) do you have a girlfriend (a resounding no). Other questions concern my interest in Japanese culture, like my favorite foods or if I know any Japanese music. One kid with a special interest in naval ships asked me if I had ever seen an American battleship – I didn’t quite know how to respond and thought there was something being lost in translation but nope, he just loves big boats (and he cannot lie).

One staff member, who speaks excellent English despite being a science teacher, asked me about my name and where my family is from (ie, what are you ethnically). He was very interested to learn that I am Jewish, and told me that he lived with a wealthy Jewish host family in New Jersey that had, according to him, ten Rolls-Royces. I then explained to him how a) all Jewish people are not wealthy and b) stereotypes about Jews being wealthy/good with money originate from antisemitic discrimination in medieval Europe that prevented Jews from most occupations, as Christians were not allowed to lend money with interest, leading Jews to take those jobs that were not prestigious to say the least, but became lucrative as capitalism developed. I also explained bar mitzvahs. I think Asian perceptions of Jews are really interesting, as a lot of people in Asia more or less believe in antisemitic tropes about Jews and money/power, but they think they are positive attributes. In Korea, the Talmud has become a best-seller because of this phenomenon, as Koreans seek to replicate Jewish success in business. I look forward to teaching my kids about Hanukkah when December rolls around.

Q: What’s your least woke opinion on Japanese food?

Q: Do you feel politically or culturally less involved than in Singapore?

Q: How fluent are you?

Q: Do the Japanese police need more centralization?

– Alanna C., New Haven, C.T./Dallas, T.X.

The term woke has been used so much that it has lost all meaning, so I don’t know if this is my least woke or my most woke opinion on Japanese food, but here we go. You guys know I love Japanese food, but there is no denying that compared to Chinese, Korean, or Southeast Asian cuisines, it is bland. The strong spicy and fermented flavors that define these other foods are just more muted in Japan. Their fermented foods aren’t super funky (think soy sauce, miso, etc) with the exception of natto, which is objectionable because of the texture, not because of its strong flavor. Chinese and Korean flavors have been adapted to suit the Japanese palate, which means that if you find mapo tofu or kimchi, they won’t be spicy. Japanese food is delicious, but it’s simple. At some point I’ll check out the Vietnamese restaurant in Matsuyama, and I hope they’ll hook me up with a phat bowl of BBH (bun bo hue).

My first visit to the Vietnamese restaurant yielded some decent salad rolls, a banh mi with good bread that could have used more veg, and an authentic 333.

This is an interesting question. Unquestionably I am technically more integrated into society here in Japan. I have a job, I pay bills, I have health insurance, and much more. Yet because of the international nature of Singapore, I felt like I fit in better there. White people are far and few between there as well, but it’s a multicultural society. You don’t get stared at on the train in Singapore like you do in Japan. It also helps that everything is in English. This segues into the next question about my language proficiency.

I have been studying Japanese since I was a small child. When I tell my students this, I’m sure they wonder why my Japanese isn’t better. My education has been off and on, with many starts and stops. I think starting at such a young age has given me good pronunciation/accent. I can order at a restaurant or ask for directions with confidence. I can have a conversation, although sometimes I will need to have a good think about how to work a question or response. Reading is more difficult given the proliferation of kanji. It can be especially frustrating when I can read, say, 3/4ths of a sentence but not the part with the important information. I also haven’t done any formal study since I got here, even though I’ve had plenty of time. The classes offered by the prefectural JET office are for beginners. I’m sure there are classes in Matsuyama that are offered at my level, but I haven’t really looked into them. Another ALT recommended looking into private tutors because they’re cheap, but if I take a class I want to meet other people who are also learning. I might check out some online resources too. I think because for the most part I can get by, I haven’t been motivated to study. But also, being in daily life is studying. Every day I hear a word I don’t know, and ask what it means. I usually forget it, but still.

As for the Japanese police, I have no clue. Japan has a different type of systemic racism from America, and I don’t know if the police are involved. But I can tell you that crime is exceedingly rare, both petty and violent, and I almost never see cops. Japan has what are called koban, which are essentially small neighborhood police boxes, where residents can report a crime, or more commonly, ask for directions or submit an item to the lost and found. Koban are typically just a few rooms and staffed by just a few officers. But this might be more like the community policing that is so often discussed but rarely implemented in the States. The koban system has been implemented in a variety of other countries including Singapore, Indonesia, Brazil, and Honduras.

Q: What’s your favorite photo you’ve taken so far?

Q: What’s the best drink you’ve had?

– Zooey W., Portland, O.R./Seattle, W.A.

I’ve taken some great pictures. Ehime is known for being a land of sunsets, and often as I’m walking from school to the train station after basketball practice around 6pm, the sky is simply stunning. The beaches here also offer some good photo ops. I recently acquired a small pre-owned digital camera and have so far taken it to a shrine and a boxing match.

None of these were taken with the digital camera

Angel on my shoulder: “Pick a drink that isn’t beer, pick a drink that isn’t beer, pick a…”

Devil on my shoulder: *says nothing*

My favorite non-alcoholic drink is probably a certain brand of peach ice tea that I would always grab at Uwajimaya back home. Other contenders include the delicious local orange juice, and a convenience store hack I saw online where you pour Mitsuya Cider (which tastes like bubblegum) into a cup with these citrus-flavored ice cubes.

Q: My sister-in-law teaches English to adult learners in Massachusetts. She is deeply involved in testing processes. Do you need to test your students using national exams? Or are there special testing you must do?

– Karen H., Portland, O.R./St. Petersburg, F.L.

I am completely uninvolved in testing. Sometimes I will be asked to grade an English test, or proof-read one for typos. However, standardized testing is a major part of education in Japan. There are major exams for entering high school as well as college, and these are notorious for how grueling they are. They literally use the term juken jigoku – exam hell – to refer to this time. While I’m not an education expert, it does not seem like a holistic approach that prioritizes the well-being of students.

Q: What is the best thing about living in a small town in Japan?

Q: What are the best dishes you’ve had so far?

Q: What’s one convenient thing that they have in Japan that you wish we had here in the US?

– Matteo W., New Haven, C.T./Boston, M.A.

What’s the best thing? Is it the ethnic homogeny? The social isolation? I will say that as I detailed in my Hiroshima/Osaka blog, I recently found Japan’s larger cities to be pretty overwhelming. My town is more understimulating than overwhelming. Do I wish there were more restaurants and shops, and maybe a local watering hole? Yes. But it’s peaceful and has most everything I need. I guess the best part is either the relaxed feel, or the cheap rent. I will say that especially after going to Hiroshima/Osaka, Matsuyama feels like the perfect-sized city.

The best meal was probably my shark cartilege dinner or my Sichuan feast in Osaka.

Definitely the convenience stores, which are actually convenient. As I’ve mentioned in the past, you can do everything at a convenience store here from paying your bills to getting a good meal. Apparently 7-Elevens in America will make an effort to become more like their Japanese counterparts as sales of gasoline and tobacco products continue to decline. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Q: What’s your favorite or most fascinating thing about island life so far? Other mountains or other district areas have cultures with similarities that cross nationalities. Wondering if that’s true for your island.

– Debra B., Takoma Park, M.D.

There does seem to be a slower pace of life here, although that could also be because it’s a more rural area as well. People seem a little more laid back than in the big cities on Honshu (although it is Japan, so society is still fairly rigid). All of Japan is islands, and my island isn’t that small. Shikoku is about 18,000 square km, which makes it slightly larger than the African nation of Eswanti and slightly smaller than Lake Ontario. There’s a distinct local dialect and some unique traditions, although I’m not sure to what extent they are a product of the island situation.

One local tradition I recently expierienced was the hachiawase, or mikoshi battles, which occur in Ehime during the Autumn Festival. The pictures don’t do it justice, but two teams of men carrying really heavy portable shrines crash them into each other while guys ride on top. It’s surprisingly loud, and sometimes real sake-fueled violence breaks out, like it did this year.

Q: What is the diner situation in Japan, where can a man find a waffle and some homefries?

– Jack D., Wakefield, M.A./Washington, D.C.

Unfortunately, Tastee Diner has yet to add any Japanese locations. They do have Denny’s here, which is owned and operated by a Japanese company (Seven and I Holdings, which also owns 7-Eleven), and the menu is different to reflect Japanese culinary preferences. I don’t think there are any locations near me. There are no shortage of coffee shops and cafes, but I think the greasy spoon diner is a unique American phenomenon. There are also kissaten, which are distinct from cafes in the sense that they are quieter spaces for reflection as opposed to the chatty atmosphere of cafes. Their menus are Western-influenced (pasta is a common feature), and they often have a retro vibe, as do many diners back home. But if I want scrapple, I think I’m out of luck.

Q: What does your daily routine look like? What is your favorite addition to your routine?

– Nicole B., Evanston, I.L./Washington, D.C.

Weekday routine:

• First alarm goes off at 5:30. Get out of bed, flip coffee machine on, get back in bed.
• Second and third alarms go off. Get out of bed again, get coffee, drink in bed. Get dressed in business casual: pants and a collared short-sleeved shirt. Listen to gentle music, “Cherish the Day” by Sade is usually in the rotation.
• Leave my apartment, and pop into Family Mart. Get a liter bottle of iced green tea, and breakfast (usually two onigiri). Walk to train station to get the 7:30 train two stops into Gunchu Port Station (what passes for downtown Iyo). Attempt to ignore the hundred or so elementary school students clustered on the train platform with me. Switch to more upbeat music, lately it has been the proto-punk MC5.
• Get off the train and walk 15 minutes to school, arriving at around 7:50. Take off my outdoor shoes and put my indoor ones on, stowing the other pair in my shoe cubby near the door. Chill at my desk and/or go to class, depending on my schedule (which is different every day and every week).
• Classes are from 8:40-3:20, with lunchtime from 12:30-1:30. On a typical day, I’ll have 2-4 classes. Thus far, I’ve done my self-introduction presentation and assisted the teacher with various activities. I try to circulate throughout the classroom and engage with the students.
• School cleaning is from 3:30-3:40, and I pitch in by sweeping up near the stairs.
• At 3:45, I have permission to leave. I will do so, unless I’m staying late to assist with boys’ basketball practice, which is every day except Wednesday from 4:30-6, although I’ve only been Tuesdays and Thursdays.
• It takes about twenty minutes to get home, where I’ll chill in my air conditioned sanctuary. I’ll either snag something for dinner from Family Mart, cook, or head to a local restaurant.
• Watch TV, YouTube, a movie, or sports. Lights out at 10.

Weekend:

• Sleep in, usually until the 9:30-11 range. Have a lazy morning, unless I have plans.
• Head into Matsuyama to eat/shop/hang out. Maybe go to the movies. Maybe meet up with my ALT friends. End up in a restaurant or izakaya by around 5. Eat and drink to my heart’s content.
• But make sure not to miss the last train back to Iyo at 10:30 (or the last streetcar to Matsuyama City Station where I catch said train). Otherwise you’re taking a taxi, which I’ve only had to resort to twice, but runs me 3600 yen ($24), compared to 490 ($3) on the train. The early time of this train is rather unfortunate, as if I was in D.C. for instance, 10:30 is when the night is just beginning. Thankfully, the cost of the cab at 10:45 is the same at 3 am (no surge pricing). Or, you can just sleep on an air matress in your friend’s surprisingly large apartment.

Q: Dear zev. I can only think politically today so my question is what’s the image of the US in Japan in regards to the murders and mass shootings. The extremism and intolerance is out of control.

– June C., Piedmont, C.A.

It’s hard to know what Japan thinks of the US, because a) the special relationship between Japan and America prevents a more critical scrutinizing and b) I doubt most people would really share their unbiased opinions with me. If Japanese public opinion on America is shifting, I think it would also have something to do with the proliferation of American tourists and residents in Japan. America is heading down a dark path, and you don’t need to be a political science or history student to know that when a country starts putting people in camps and cracking down on free speech, good times are not ahead. Experiencing this from the other side of the world is a strange feeling.

Q: What’s the worst meal you’ve had in Japan (has to be a sit-down meal)?

Q: What is the funniest comment/interaction you’ve had regarding being an American?

Q: What kind of American food do you miss most?

– Ellis H., Austin, T.X./Washington, D.C.

The worst meal I’ve had in Japan so far was from the Chinese restaurant across the street from my apartment. It is very unfortunate that the closest restaurant is so mid. The mapo tofu was gloppy and gelatinous, like xanthan gum, and very salty. It also came with fried squid, which was bland. But for the most part, you can walk into a random restaurant and have a solid meal (as opposed to the States, where I rarely visit an establishment before extensive Yelp research).

I can’t think of any one interaction that was particularly funny, but the little details about the Japanese perceptions of Americans are amusing. Like yes, some Americans do eat cereal for breakfast and wear their shoes inside. Not me, though.

As I previously said, I miss the variety. I could really go for some falafel right about now.

Q: Pretend you’re putting together a message in a bottle/care package for a Japanese person from Iyo. Your goal is to teach them two things: American culture, and your identity/relationship with culture – only through what you put in the package. What would you put in there and why?

– Henry S., Buffalo, N.Y./Washington, D.C.

Wow. What do we even mean by American culture? This anthropology-ass question is so broad I don’t quite know where to start. I guess chili cheese Fritos, Glacial Freeze Gatorade, a CD of Project Pat’s Mista Don’t Play: Everythangs Working (2001), and John Wall’s high school mixtape. Oh, and also Heat (1995) and The Sopranos. Jokes aside, I actually have zero clue. What is this, AUx?

Q: Do you have any concerns about the Commanders defense?

– Adam B., Takoma Park, M.D.

Before last Sunday’s game at the Chargers, I was very concerned. Yes, the defense is better than last year, when it ranked somewhere between a wet paper bag and a fine mesh sieve. After that Thursday Night travesty in Green Bay, I was stressing. But the defense finally showed up against a good team. New additions like Kinlaw and Amos have played well. Looking at the statistics, while we’ve given up a lot of yards (352 per game and 5.6 per play, good for #24 and #20 in the league respectively), we’ve only allowed 20.2 points per game (#9 in the league). Sometimes it feels like I’m watching the same team I’ve watched my entire life when we can’t finish tackles or get off the field on third and long. But then I remember that we have Jayden, and when we have Jayden, we can beat anyone on any given Sunday.

Q: How do you teach English when you don’t speak Japanese?

– Kelly W., Portland, O.R.

When I was talking with Kenji and Miori at Hiroshima Oktoberfest, Miori emphasized how important it is that I DO NOT speak Japanese in the classroom. I am there to speak English. Japanese language proficiency is not a requirement for JETs. If I speak to the kids in Japanese, or translate everything I say in English into Japanese, it will not help them learn English. Unfortunately, I will sometimes lazily resort to Japanese when it is clear that the kids are not understanding me in English. With that said, I’m not sure how the ALTs with no Japanese language proficiency do it.

Q: What are the features on your toilet?

Q: What’s breakfast like?

Q: Are you bonding with any students yet?

Q: How’s basketball going?

Q: Do you feel really tall?

– Jo C., Portland, O.R.

My toilet is pretty standard. There’s a buttwasher, a bidet, and some other buttons that I’m not sure do what. There’s no music or dryer.

As I said above, breakfast is from Family Mart. Apparently it is rude to eat while walking, but I’m a busy guy who doesn’t have time for a sit-down breakfast. It’s usually two onigiri, one with a protein (tuna+mayo/negitoro, etc), and one veggie (ume or wasabi).

I feel like the most bonding I’ve done with students is at basketball. In the classroom students are shy, and I’m doing my best to be outgoing, but their English ranges from non-existent to simple. On the basketball court, you don’t have to speak as much, and the language of sports transcends the language barrier – although I do speak more English than Japanese on the court, ranging from the easy-to-understand “good job” and “nice pass” to the more cryptic “switch!” and “fast break” as well as the omnipresent “BOARD!” I should learn the Japanese words for “transition defense” and “outlet pass.” The coach is happy to have me there, because the team is nine kids, so I make ten and we can play five-on-five. I’ve also tried to provide some insights to the coach on how the team and individual players are playing. There’s one bigger kid who wears a knee brace and likes to post up on the block (who I told to watch Hakeem Olajuwon on YouTube), two talented guards, one of whom usually makes the right play (Steve Nash/Jason Kidd), and the other one has a tendency to be a ball hog and take tough shots, though he can often nail threes with a hand in his face (Trae Young). Another kid is a solid wing who often finishes fast breaks. The talent level of the other kids vary, as being children, they frequently smoke layups and turn the ball over. I’ve even seen a kid take granny shots underhanded. Brief scrimmages against the girls team has been revealing. While the boys can dominate on the boards, the girls seem to be more organized, moving better without the ball, generating open looks, and getting steals.

I do feel tall. There are other tall JETs (Richard from the UK is 6′ 5″), but I have to watch my head when I enter/exit the train and classrooms.

Q: What’s your favorite item at your local Family Mart?

– Doug G., Portland, O.R.

My favorite item is the legendary FamiChiki, a boneless piece of fried chicken that is super greasy and juicy. Much to my chagrin, they are often sold out by evening time. They have original and spicy. I like to pair it with an egg salad sandwich. There’s a Japanese dish called oyakodon, which is chicken and egg simmered in sauce and served over rice. If we linguistically break that down, oya means parent, ko child, and don a suffix meaning over rice. So when I cut my FamiChiki in half and stick it in my egg salad sandwich, I like to call it oyakosando.

The oyakosando… don’t knock it till you try it

If you have follow-up questions, or new ones you want me to answer for my next mailbag, I’ll leave a Google Form for the people who struggle to post a comment: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfH3_ssKLtWRHGhC6m7InL7HvqTP48TUJHzRouhXike2erWzA/viewform?usp=dialog

Editor’s note: I have been working on this mailbag for like six weeks now. In my defense, I have now begun studying for the LSAT (yikes!) so I have less desk-warming free time than I used to. Nevertheless, I am striving to keep up my posting, and have a full school lunch breakdown in the works… look for that in the nearish future.

Peace and love,

Zev